A Surprise in the Night

I had some strange dreams last night, mostly the anxiety kind (Did I ever change my last name with the student loan people? Did I remember to sign my promissory note this semester? When do I give my Americorps grant to financial aid? Etc., etc.) I also had a strange body night - I'm at the point where I should quit sleeping on my back (it cuts off oxygen and hurts your back), and sleeping on my belly ain't happening, so it's sleep on the left, flip all the way over, sleep on the right, flip all the way over, sleep on the left, all night long. I practically have to push off from Dave to get the momentum, but luckily he is a deep sleeper and doesn't seem to mind me using his thighs as my platform.

At one point, as I flipped over from my left to my right, I decided to stop on my back for *just a minute* to rest/sleep in the forbidden position, and suddenly I was awake and aware that my t-shirt was drenched on the left side of my chest. I moved my arms, and the bed covers were wet. I sat up and looked around, but of course it was dark, so I frantically felt around the bed, finding the edges where the liquid stopped. I don't want to sound like it was a huge amount of liquid, because it wasn't, but I was still wet and cold and unhappy because... my left breast was leaking breast milk. (To be more specific, it was probably leaking colostrum, which is the precursor to breast milk, but anyway...)

I pulled the wet areas of my shirt up to my nose and inhaled, and yep, that's what it smelled like. Actually, it smelled like this little girl Meghan I used to baby-sit. Kind of warm and sweet and it made me think of rainbows and kittens and fluffy clouds.

I don't know if some dream caused my leakage, or a hormone fluctuation, or Purna the cat crying from some corner of the house and awakening an unknown maternal instinct. I don't know if this is normal or very weird or kind of ho-hum, because I've never heard/read/received any information at all about this topic. It does seem rather taboo, and I even hesitated to write about it at first, thinking, "Who wants to read about my leaking left breast?" But then, for the sake of information and the possible comments this post might produce, I decided a post about my surprise in the night was appropriate. And if you're sqeamish about THIS topic, perhaps you should stop reading the blog until AFTER the baby is born, because it is my understanding that it only gets worse. Can you handle it?