Everyone seems to ask the same question at the doctor's office: have you bought the book, What to Expect When You're Expecting yet? Oh, don't you worry, we tell them. We are dedicated readers. However, we think the woman model on the front is a little... too Better Homes and Gardens. We'd rather have a model who could at least wear jeans like the rest of us.
But although What to Expect... is the tome of pregnancy, and a pretty excellent resource all-around, it didn't prepare me for the following strange physical reactions to the hormones (and baby) taking over my body...
1. Heavy, voluminous earwax. I can feel it drop into my ear, like a raisin. Yuck. We are going through Q-tips like new parents go through strangers' "helpful" advice.
2. Thick, dark veins showing up on my eyelids. I have to wear concealer everyday under my eyebrows because otherwise it appears that Dave hit me in not one, but both eyes. I have to protect my marriage with concealer!
3. The Tickle-Me Elmo belly. The skin is so tender around my lower belly that when Dave rubs it before we go to bed (for good luck!) I become Tickle-Me Elmo. I wriggle and giggle and can hardly believe how incredible it feels. I even have the same high-squeal that parents find so endearing about Tickle-Me Elmo. I have turned into an electronic stuffed animal!
4. The ever-present heartbeat. I can't fall asleep at night because I can feel my heartbeat beating against my shouldar blades, my ankles, my fingertips... everywhere. If I lay on the couch and cross my ankles, it's like I'm actually tapping them together, because my heartbeat is so strong. I feel like I have some mental disorder, unable to fall asleep at night b/c my heartbeat is keeping me awake!
7 comments:
The last time we saw our fertility super-doctor, she told us we should totally not read that book, saying it would fill our heads with unfounded fears about "One Million Ways to Make Your Baby Mentally Handicapped." :)
Lotion on the belly helps with that tickly stuff...AND when your belly starts itching it helps wonders.
Speaking of weird stuff happening to you, do you find that you get the hiccups a lot now? I'm not sure if this happens to everyone, but when I was pregnant I got the hiccups everyday in the beginning. And further along, I would get at least one giant hiccup everyday. WEIRD.
It's weird what that baby will do to you. And when you give birth...you'll be amazed at how quickly those things stop!
Re: Renee's comment-
I think that all those books include such information; my cousin Rachel told me that she and her partner kept joking that they had to be SO careful b/c the book pounded into their head that she would fall down if she did ANYTHING or any ACTIVITY. Including riding the escalator.
But the book is useful for the following reasons: assauging your fears about sexual intimacy while pregnant, telling you what info is actually superstitions, not fact, and giving you a list of physical changes to expect that you never considered (like having a stuffy nose for 3 months). Also, at the early stages, it gives you very specific info about miscarriage signs and symptoms, so that if you spot, you don't immediately jump in the car and check into the ER.
So proceed at your own risk, w/ or w/o the book! One way or another, your baby will have to confront the world. And confront his/her parents, faults and all.
Re: Rachel's comment-
Never had the hiccups, not once. But that sounds like fun!
That book tells you that a woman might DIE from an embolism if she receives oral sex.
Phew! Soooo glad I gave birth during the dark ages. My most icky challenge was restless legs late in the pregnancy. Man. It drove me nuts, and it wasn't just at night. Oh yeah, and the cramps right at the place where the belly meets the thighs (yeah, I did mean the belly... just wait!!) which seemed to cramp at the worst times, like when crossing a busy street. However, it did one time provoke a stranger to ask if I needed assistance. So.... can't wait to hear more of yours!
i didn't really like the book too much
i did go to babycenter.com a lot and would write down questions for my ob
plus it helps that i work w/ docs and pediatricians
but yea....
at least your nose isn't spreading....
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