Dave and I haven't yet decided whether to find out the baby's gender when we visit the doctor (Dr. Brown is his name -another Dr. Brown in our life!). We have a little bit of time to decide, but here are our thoughts/quandries:
1. Do we want the doctor to know more than we know? Absolutely not. If the doc knows, we should know.
2. We don't want the knowledge of the gender to create a gender-influenced pregnancy- as in I just felt the baby kick me in the bladder... but that's what boys do.
3. It will be easier to pick a name because we can narrow the list by 50%.
4. We don't want to create a personality and socially-construct a person before they have their own chance to be themselves. And we feel like knowing the gender might allow for that.
5. We're interested.
6. We don't really care what the gender is.
7. We can plan for a bris/ baby-naming ceremony in advance.
8. There's no surprise at the end. Sarah loves surprises.
So that's where we're at... and who knows how many more pros/cons we'll come up with in the meantime.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
7 comments:
This is what I think: surprises are rad rad rad. Something in me would rather wait until the end.
However - it's still a surprise when you find out before the baby is born, it's just sooner and you won't be fresh off a traumatic, magical experience.
It's practical and still fun to find out via ultrasound... and you can always opt to not tell everyone else. HA!
love,
ramona
thanks for the wishy-washy answer, Ramona! NOW what am I supposed to do?
hee hee
even when you find out, there are tons of surprises
eric wasn't trying to hide anything (trust me, we have a sonogram pic of his penis)
and as for names, it didn't matter what we wanted to name him, he popped out, looked at him and went... wow, he doesn't look anything like any name we had even thought of
so the first day he was born, he didn't have a name, he was "the baby" and the hospital looked at me like i was nuts. (even though technically you have like a year to name them)
the 2nd day (the day we were to leave) my sis, nic and i rattled off names and the baby actually focuses on one, stopped crying, would look, we repeated the name on and off through out the day w/ the same result. dunno if he just liked the way it sounded, but that's how he got his name.
our big surprise was the red hair
i will say, it's fun trying to imagine what the baby will look like, and finding out it really didn't matter what you thought, they'll come out any way they want to
:)
Wow! Mikal, that's awesome! Believe her, Sarah, even if you know the gender, you don't know their sweet faces and characteristics and souls. Truly, you'll still be surprised no matter how much information you have before the birth.
I second "not really anonymous" (we know who you are!!) There was a time when I thought it would be better not to know, especially after a friend of mine was told for sure she was having a girl and it turned out to be a boy. But this was 16 years ago. Sonograms are so much better now, I wonder if it's even possible to have a sonogram and not know. Really, they're incredibly clear these days. So if you decide you want to stay in the dark until the birth day, you may have to be blindfolded during the procedure! But whatever you choose to do with the info after that is, of course, completely up to you. (Though as Ethan's grandmother, it was really cool to know "he" was coming, and Mikal is right, there will still be abundant surprises! Carry on!
***Channeling the psychodymanic therapist:***
Go with your "gut," not your "brain" :-). I know, I know...a neuro-nerd telling you to ignore your noggin'?! (don't worry -- even your "gut" is in your "brain," sorta...but that's a topic for another time:-))
Really, though, every single reason you listed makes absolutely good logical sense. There's a "good" argument in both directions. So that's not really going to get you anywhere other than a confused cul-de-sac :-). (or maybe more like those spiral drawing gizmo's from childhood:-) ). Plus, if you're not happy with the decision, it's less likely to be because it offends some rule of rationale, but b/c, well, you're just not happy about it. Though potentially more difficult, if you can figure out what "feels" right, independent of judgment, prediction, or societal extrapolation and pressure, all is bound to be copacetic :-).
***Channeling the logician:***
Some of your points may have holes (loopholes?). I agree with everyone else: of course it'll be a surprise! Whether the gender is known or not, ain't no way you can predict how the experience/baby will feel/look/smell/be. Similarly, seems to me that no matter how hard you try, you're bound to begin attributing personality traits to the little'un...and it seems like the gender-based ones are (a) something you could try to avoid, and (b) if you can't resist them, aren't they inevitable post-natally anyway?
***Channeling the semantic pedant:***
I don't buy the "we don't care" argument one wit! You may not have a "preference," and you may not want to find out now, but I'm betting you "care." :-)
***Channeling the future aunt:***
Of course you should find out!!...but only if that's what you want :-).
PS: I've got news for ya: your doc already knows more than you do about the baby :-). Or at least, I sure hope so!
PPS: Yes, I have fallen into a vortex of procrastination. I'll stop now.
Post a Comment